


Coming Out

by All_I_Want_Is_You



Series: My boys deserve a family [4]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Alex Mercer Has Bad Parents (Julie and The Phantoms), Ray is a good dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29723961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_I_Want_Is_You/pseuds/All_I_Want_Is_You
Summary: Alex tells Ray about coming out to his parents
Series: My boys deserve a family [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2179323
Comments: 5
Kudos: 58





	Coming Out

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: talk of gay conversion camp, religious fanaticism, suicidal ideology. Please don’t read if these things will trigger you
> 
> As always, I don’t own any characters here

It was little things at first. It started with clothes being left in the studio in each of the boys’ distinct styles (not that anyone would call sleeveless a “style”), then moved on to notes with music suggestions or movies that Ray thought they would each enjoy. The boys were invited to Molina Movie Nights (tell your friends). It gave Alex the warm fuzzies.

It was a couple days after Ray’s talk with Luke that he approached Alex in the studio. He waited until just after breakfast on Saturday, knowing all his kids except Alex took the opportunity to sleep in. Alex preferred the serenity that came with the early morning sounds and knowing that he wouldn’t have to babysit his ghost brothers for another couple hours.

Ray quietly opened the studio doors and peeked inside. His eyes swept over the room, easily finding Luke and Reggie cuddled into each other for warmth and comfort. When he didn’t see Alex on the main level, his gaze rose towards the loft and he caught a glimpse of Alex’s signature pink hoodie. He quietly cleared his throat to get Alex’s attention. When he saw that Alex was now looking at him, Ray jerked his head to the side, silently asking Alex to follow him.

Once Alex had stepped outside, Ray gripped his shoulder and said, “I would like to talk to you about something. Are you okay with that?”

Alex had a feeling he knew what Ray wanted to talk about; he hadn’t forgotten what he had told everyone on the day Ray found out the truth about the band. He dreaded the upcoming talk but knew it had to happen. It wasn’t that he was worried, per se, about Ray’s reaction. He was just anxious in general about coming out. The only people who had taken it well had been his bandmates. He didn’t think he could take another rejection from an adult guidance figure, no matter how miniscule the chances of that happening were.

He sighed, knowing that if he said no, he was just putting off the inevitable. He nodded reluctantly to Ray and quietly said, “Can I just have a minute? I’m going to leave a note for the boys in case they wake up or something. I’ll meet you inside.”

Ray could tell that Alex needed a minute to gather himself and prepare, so he left with another shoulder squeeze and a nod. He walked into the kitchen and started to prepare Alex’s favorite comfort foods, knowing that things were about to get emotional.

After grabbing the entire box of Twinkies, some Red Vines, and the hidden box of Junior Mints that Ray got just for Alex and that none of the other boys knew about and depositing them in the living room, he started warming some milk on the stove to make his special deluxe hot chocolate.

Ray just finished putting the final touches on the mugs of hot chocolate and bringing them into the living room when Alex walked in. Ray took a moment to look over Alex and noted that the boy’s hands were stuffed into his pockets and his head bowed slightly forward. He took shuffling steps and to Ray, it looked like Alex thought he was about to be hit.

Ray stood up and went over to where Alex was hesitating just behind the couch. He stood in front of Alex and opened his arms, waiting for Alex to make the first move. He was waiting for almost a full minute before Alex took the first small step forward and then another and ended up in Ray’s arms. Ray just folded Alex into his embrace. He put one hand on the back of Alex’s head and the other across his shoulders. Not restraining, just holding. Alex reached up and gripped the back of Ray’s shirt, not wanting to let go of the comfort the man so easily offered.

Ray gently guided them over to the couch and settled in next to Alex. He didn’t want to pull away until Alex did, sensing that the young man needed the comfort he usually denied himself.

Minutes passed and Ray noticed a change in Alex’s breathing; his shoulders were shaking and Ray felt a wetness on his shoulder. Alex was crying, he thought, and his heart broke even more for the young ghost. Ray increased the pressure of his hug slightly before settling back down. These boys were going to tear his heart to shreds if they weren’t careful.

Finally, Alex took a shuddering breath and pulled away. He looked down at his hands before looking at Ray. The love and understanding in his eyes caused more tears to stream down his face. He looked away and saw the treats that Ray brought over and put on the coffee table. He chuckled wetly and grabbed a Twinkie, ripping open the package and nibbling on the processed yumminess. 

Ray let him eat the Twinkie in peace, but when he reached for the Junior Mints, Ray started speaking.

“Your parents are trash,” he stated. Alex started choking on the candy he was eating, shocked at the bluntness of Ray’s statement.

Ray waited until Alex caught his breath again before continuing, “I remember what you said. You mentioned that they would send their only son to a conversion camp. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I seem to recall conversion camps being used as a ‘cure’ - and I use that term loosely - for homosexuality,” Ray paused. “I want you to know - NEED you to know - that they were wrong. There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with being gay. Love is love and I don’t want you to think otherwise,”

Alex choked again, but this time on his emotions. Hearing someone else say what his parents should have said 25 years ago melted something in his heart that he had blocked off. 

“I’ve heard about conversion camps in the news, years ago, so I did some more research on my own. The things that happened there… there are no words to describe how much I want to hunt down the people who ran those camps and your parents for even thinking that it was a good idea to send you there,” Ray was starting to get angry. There was absolutely no reason for a parent to think that a camp was a viable option for their child.

Alex wasn’t used to people getting angry FOR him instead of at him. “Ray, I -” Alex didn’t really know where to take the conversation from there. For some reason, he wanted to tell Ray everything. He wanted him to say everything would be okay and that it wouldn’t happen again.

Ray didn’t say anything, just grabbed Alex’s hand and held on, letting Alex talk in his own time.

“It was hell. Like, literal hell. They used electroshock therapy to try and ‘correct’ our behavior. They would play videos, and if we got… aroused… they would shock us. They were trying to get us to associate what we were seeing with the pain. But it never worked! I was always bad. And bad boys were dirty. They were alone. They were unwanted,” Alex gasped out.

Ray had planned to not say anything until Alex was done, but he couldn’t ignore what he was hearing any longer. “No. You are NOT bad. You are not dirty. Alex, listen to me. You are so very, very wanted. You have become a son to me, a brother to Carlos and Julie. Luke and Reggie would die if you left them. Well, die again. Everything about you is absolutely perfect to us. I will tell you everyday, if that would help you understand,” Ray pleaded with Alex to get it.

Alex nodded his head, but Ray could tell that he wasn’t quite believing what was being said. Ray just squeezed Alex’s hand and let him continue his story.

“I had told my parents when I was 13. I realized that when I went to school football games I thought about how tight the football uniforms were and how big the linebackers arms were. My friends were talking about the cheerleaders and I was focused on the quarterback. I thought - my parents always supported me. They dealt with my anxiety and they got me my first drum kit and paid for private lessons. I had no reason to think that they would react the way they did. They yelled at me. They said that I was possessed by the devil. Th-they h-hired a priest to come and exorcise the devil out of me,” Alex started to sob.

Ray knew, growing up as religious as he did, what an exorcism entailed. To make a 13 year old go through that, it made Ray want to vomit. There were stories of exorcisms causing so much stress to the victim that they died from it. He pulled Alex closer to him, almost on his lap, and just held the boy while he cried.

Ray had a feeling that this was the first time Alex had shared his entire story. Clearly, Luke and Reggie knew parts of it, but Alex had never really talked about what he had gone through.

Alex continued after a couple of minutes, “For 3 summers, I was sent to that camp. And each summer, a different priest tried to ‘cleanse’ me. It very nearly drove me to… well, to kill myself. I was such a disappointment. The only people who would miss me were Luke and Reggie, and Bobby still, at that point, and they had each other,”

Ray had to stop Alex at that point, “Mijo, if you EVER, and I mean ever, feel that way again, I want you to promise to come talk to me. I don’t care if it’s 3 AM, if I’m at work, or if you talked to me an hour ago. The minute you feel that way, please come see me. I will try for the rest of my human life to make sure that you know you are loved and cared for. And if the boys ever say anything against that, I will find a way to make them very sorry. Do you understand?”

Ray said all of this softly. He didn’t want to spook Alex, but he needed to know that he was being heard and understood. “I will tell you over and over, every day. Te amo, mijo. You are so loved. Thank you for trusting me with this. I won’t tell any of the other kids about this until you do.”

Alex nodded and grabbed a Red Vine to chew on. All the emotional talk had gotten the better of him and he was tiring out fast. Ray gently leant Alex’s head on his shoulder and rubbed his back, murmuring soft platitudes in Spanish. 

Alex soaked in the warmth that Ray was offering. Never before had he felt such unconditional acceptance. Even with the band, he sometimes felt like his acceptance was contingent on his being the drummer. Alex let his eyes slip closed and he zoned out, not quite asleep but also not fully aware of what was going on around him.

The next time Alex came to awareness, Ray had moved to the corner of the couch and lay Alex down so his head was in his lap and Ray ran his fingers lightly through Alex’s hair. He looked down and Luke was sitting at his feet, resting his own head against Alex’s legs, Reggie was sitting at Ray’s feet, back against his legs and his head resting on Ray’s knees. Julie, somehow, had wiggled herself under Alex’s legs on the couch and was curled up reading a book with Carlos reading over her shoulder. 

This was what he had been missing. This is what family was supposed to do. Spend time together and love each other. He was glad he finally had that now. With a smile gracing his lips, Alex closed his eyes again and let the feeling wash over him.-

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a kudos and/or a comment!


End file.
